“The thing I hate most about my shyness is its inconsistency. Some days I can give a speech, or walk into a party and speak to everyone there and enjoy it. Other days I won’t answer the door or be able to speak to anyone, even people I know well.”
Do you empathise with the above? Keep reading!
There are two main types of shy people
People in the first category get a strong feeling of anxiety whenever they face a social situation. They usually tend to close into themselves and can’t find the motivation to look up a solution to their problem. They prefer to be left in their own world and never be bothered to get out of their cozy and protective comfort zone.
Since you’re reading this, I doubt you belog to this type. The most people that are actively looking to overcome their shyness fall into the second category.
People that fall in the second category always look fora solution to their shyness, that they’re well aware of. After reading many shy people’s concerns and problems, I’ve realized that most of them only encounter temporary episodes of shyness.
I’m exactly the same, so I can relate to that very well. I only encounter short episodes of shyness in my social life, after which I suddenly become very active again.
There are those times when you feel extremely sociable, you get along very well with friends, strangers, and everyone! You even get to talk in front of 30 or more people and do so without a problem. You feel like you’ve completely and permanently solved your shyness and self confidence problems.
This probably lasts for a while, after which you start feeling shy again.
Sounds familiar to you?
This is definitely a case I often find myself in. I realized this long ago and gave it a lot of thought until I was able to find the solution. I did my best to analyse how I acted in the past and what made the difference. Was it related to the month of the year? Or maybe the season? Unlikely.
Finally, I came to the conclusion that my occupations and my habits during the shyness or self confidence periods had a lot to do with my problem.
When I had important social activities that I was genuinely involved in, I had no time at all to think about my shyness and my social interactions with others! I found this was the main key to my perfectly natural and outgoing interactions with others! If I constantly kept myself busy with other things, I never felt shy or lacking in confidence.
On the other hand, there were also periods when I had a lot of spare time and did nothing but stay indoors doing useless stuff like playing PC games, watching movies and browsing facebook the whole day.
When this happened, my shyness always came back to me and I felt I was completely out of the social energy I needed.
I couldn’t see why, but every time I ignored my social life, it didn’t take longer than 2 or 3 days for my boost of self confidence to disappear!
What can YOU do to permanently overcome your shyness
Learn from your mistakes. Know that you must never ignore your social life, even after you feel like you’ve achieved everything you wanted. You’ll still have to hang on to your current habits if you want to keep it that way!
For me, attending social events constantly and taking part in group activities is what keeps me confident. I’m pretty sure this can work for you, too! I always involve in as many group school projects as my time allows me to, and always do my best to maintain a busy social life.
Another thing that will greatly help keep your shyness away is your passion. If you don’t have a passion (or hobby you love doing), then find one! Pick anything from photography, drawing, writing (poems maybe) to dancing and other sports.
My own passions are blogging and practicing martial arts. They both help keep me busy even if I have no social events or group activities to attend to. I recommend blogging (or writing a journal) to anyone that spends more than 30 minutes per day in front of the computer, on things like facebook and games.
If you’re not interested in blogging, reading is an awesome alternative (bloggers have to do it anyway). Reading other blogs and personal development books has always helped me A LOT in my interactions with other people. It provides you with an infinite amount of discussion subjects and interesting things you can do and say in every situation. Basically, reading is just another awesome thing that keeps you focused on something else than your (imaginary) shyness!
“The way you overcome shyness is to become so wrapped up in something that you forget to be afraid!”
- Claudia Lady Bird Johnson
Did this article help you? Share it with one friend in need! Who knows? You just might permanently change the way they feel about their shyness!
What are your own ways of overcoming shyness? Let us know in the comments!